Life during divorce:
“If God didn’t want me to go through it (divorce) he wouldn’t have allowed it to happen.” Those were the words that kept me going every day while in pain.
I saw my big happy family go through the worst pain ever, married with 3 kids: first a girl and 2 boys. Now that we are a big happy family the dad to my three awesome kids leaves our beautiful big house. The day he left was a tragedy. It was like someone had died. Even one of my neighbours came after hearing the kids screaming.
I remember my second born crying so loud holding the computer: “Daddy why did you have to leave??” I was holding my 20-month old son looking so confused. He asked: “Why are my sister and brother crying?” I replied: “Daddy left,” and he said: “But daddy is coming back you will see mom”.
I couldn’t afford a lawyer: married in community obviously everything must be shared. I drafted a settlement agreement which stated that no sharing of our house and my pension fund, and sent it to my advocate neighbour. His response was: “The courts won’t allow it.” A year later I was granted my settlement.
My advocate neighbour encouraged me: “Woman keep on praying to your God, your faith is on steroids”.
I couldn’t buy groceries: I remember going to the shop. I allowed the kids to grab treats. As we approached the tills to pay, my second child asked: “Is daddy coming to pay? Should we take back our stuff? I don’t think mom will be able to pay for all this.” God always gives us what we need, a dear friend of mine from church gave me money for groceries.
Years later the kids and I moved to the Northern suburbs and went to church where they offered 13 weeks divorce care course. I am now able to help others who are going through pain in their marriages not to give up and not to rush to divorce. A praying family always stays together. Nine years later I still discourage divorce.
Every night we still pray together as a family before we go to bed.